What should you say if you find out that your teen has received a bad grade or has failed an exam? In this video, we’ll talk about the 6 worst things you could say to your teen in this situation. We’ll then talk about what you can say to your teen instead.
What should you say if you find out that your teen has received a bad grade or has failed an exam? In this article, we’ll talk about the six worst things you could say to your teen in this situation. We’ll then talk about what you can say to your teen instead. Let’s start with the first thing to avoid saying to your teen.
Worst thing 1:
Don’t say, “Why are you so lazy? “Avoid blaming and criticizing your teen. Here are other similar statements to avoid making.
“I can’t believe you failed.”
“You just don’t put in enough effort.”
“At this rate, you’ll never succeed.”
Such remarks can damage your teen’s confidence and discourage him or her from trying to improve. Keep in mind that you can never shame your teen into changing for the better. If he or she has received a bad grade.
Worst thing 2:
Don’t say, “Why can’t you be more like?”
Comparing your teen with others won’t help the situation, especially if your teen is already feeling discouraged because of the bad grade.
So avoid saying things like,
“Why can’t you be more like your friends or siblings?”
They’re always doing well in school. Here’s the third thing to avoid saying.
Worst thing 3:
Don’t say, “It’s just one exam You need to get over it.” making dismissive statements like this invalidates your teen’s feelings and will discourage open communication.
Here are a couple of other dismissive statements you should try not to make:
“You don’t need to be sad.
It’s not the end of the world.”
“It’s just one bad grade.
You need to move on.”
Here’s the fourth thing to avoid saying.
Worst thing 4:
Don’t say, “You need to get better grades. If you don’t, your future will be ruined.”
In all likelihood, your teen already knows the importance of doing well in school. Putting excessive pressure on your teen will only add to his or her stress in an unhealthy way.
Don’t make statements like:
“If you don’t pull up your grades, you’ll be in big trouble.”
“If you continue getting bad grades, I’m going to take away all your privileges.”
“Your whole future depends on how you do on the next exam.”
Let’s move on to the fifth thing to avoid saying.
Worst thing 5:
Don’t say, “You’re just not cut out to be a good student.”
Here are two other variations to avoid as well.
“You’re hopeless when it comes to your academics.”
“Maybe you’re just always going to be a bad student.”
Labeling your teen and making generalizations can affect your teen’s motivation and self-esteem. If your teen starts to believe that he or she will never be a good student, your teen may stop trying to improve altogether. Let’s talk about the sixth thing It would help if you didn’t tell your teen.
Worst thing 6:
Don’t say, “You’re not coping well, so it’s time for me to step in.” Be mindful of offering unsolicited advice or swooping in to try to fix the situation. Your teen has underperformed, so he or she needs space to process the situation. Wait for the right moment and talk to your teen to see if there’s anything you can do to help. If you try to step in when your teen doesn’t want you to, it will make things worse.
Now that we’ve covered the six worst things to say, let’s focus on what you can say instead. Tips that will help you to respond in such a way that you’ll have a positive impact on your teen.
Tip 1:
Offer reassurance and empathy. Try saying something like,
“You seem disappointed. It’s okay to feel that way. We all face setbacks sometimes.”
Tip 2:
Tip number two: Focus on growth and learning. When your teen is ready to talk about it, you could ask questions like:
“What do you think went wrong?”
“What do you plan to do differently to prepare for the next exam?”
Remember to focus more on the process and less on the performance.
Tip 3:
Tip number three: Provide support and resources. You could say things like:
“If you need any help, I’m here for you. We can find some effective studying techniques together.”
“Would you like to explore tutoring or other resources to help you master the material?”
Tip 4:
Tip number four: Remind your teen that his or her worth doesn’t depend on grades. Try saying something like this:
“I love you no matter what. Your grades don’t define you. It’s always just about putting in the effort to learn and grow.”
If you apply these tips, it’s much more likely that your teen will feel motivated to work harder to prepare for future exams. and if you find it hard to get your teens to listen to you,
